Oh you didn’t know we were sartorially inclined? As connoisseurs of all things culture, we have to see what our favorite celebrities are wearing. While the Golden Globes gave us some historic wins, memeable moments, and plenty of technical difficulties, the stars were out for the virtual red carpet.
Jamie Lee Curtis in Alex Perry - A walking ad for Activia, Jamie Lee proved why she is a forever babe at 62 in this plunging yellow number. Pass me that probiotic yogurt.
Angela Bassett in Dolce & Gabbana - This woman does not age, and it’s utter sorcery. Something happened on the set of AHS Coven, and we will get to the bottom of it.
Catherine Zeta-Jones in Dolce & Gabbana - The evening’s third example that women are still hot past age 30. The Globes were an amazing argument against ageism, we will give them that.
Anya-Taylor Joy in Dior - Our favorite nymph absolutely stole the show in her plunging green dress with matching cape. Are the platinum blonde locks for her upcoming Robert Eggers horror project with Björk? The people must know.
Sarah Paulson in Custom Prada - In all black and basically no eyebrows, Paulson looked like high-fashion Caillou. What truly stole the show was her scaly purple arm cast, which was also custom Prada.
Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon in Marina Moscone and Dior, respectively - Was the fashion that remarkable? No. You know what is? The love they have for each other after 32 years of marriage.
Dan Levy in Maison Valentino Haute Couture - This look is as if Liza Minelli and a stick of butter had a baby. Accessorized with his bright orange dog, Redmond.
Nicole Kidman in Louis Vuitton - Disappointed she did not wear a fabulous trench coat a la The Undoing.
Emerald Fennell’s hair that looked like a wig - Love the shit out of her, but this hair was akin to Whitney Rose’s father’s locks from RHOSLC in terms of us questioning its authenticity.
Margot Robbie in Chanel - We are firm believers in the conspiracy theory that Chanel has a vendetta against Robbie because they consistently put her in garbage garments. Last night’s monstrosity looked like a glorified Forever 21 mess of a maxi dress complete with tiered ruffles.
Jodie Foster in silk pajamas from Prada - The woman didn’t know she was going to win, she was sitting with her wife and dog in her most comfortable attire, and she thanked Aaron Rogers in her acceptance speech. That’s how icons do it.
Shira Haas in Chanel - You’re telling me the woman who was nominated for playing an Orthodox Jew was wearing the label of a Nazi spy? Cute.
Amanda Seyfried in Oscar de la Renta - The floral shoulder wrap element of this dress is giving us strong fake-flowers-wrapped-around-Regina-George’s-headgear vibes.
Cynthia Erivo in Valentino Haute Couture - *Cue Brick Tambland Voice* “I love lamp.” Apparently, so does Cynthia. From the day-glo green to the silver pleasers, this look is a mix of a night light, baby yoda, and a Hand Grenade glass from a New Orleans bar on Bourbon Street.
Jason Sudeikis in a sweatshirt - Our favorite dad comedy king showed up in the quarantine outfit of the moment: a porn 'stache and tie-dye sweatshirt with the word “forward” on it. This is what you look like when your wife leaves you for Harry Styles. In short, he needed this.
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